Living in Denial

I don't know if you've ever done anything of which you are ashamed. I have, more times than I care to think about. Just when I think I have it all together, there comes those ugly past sins rearing their monster heads. Satan uses them to tear me down, to make me feel useless. I remember the things I should have said and the things I shouldn't have done. They all rush back to me, reminding me of just how human I am. They remind me of how miserably I've failed my Lord...not once, not even twice, but over and over again. There are tears and regrets. There are accusations and condemnation. The demons from my past haunt me and mock me. And, I allow it.

"Well, for goodness sake Becky, why would you allow it?" I know you're thinking it. The reason I allow it is because I'm living in denial. That's right. I'm living in denial. I'm living in denial of who I really am. When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, I became His! I am a child of the One True Living God! I am His child. He loves me. All those ugly past sins, they are forgiven...cast into the Sea of Forgetfulness. They don't define who I am anymore. God doesn't remember those sins. They are gone. I may remember them, but God does not. Yet, I allow Satan to remind me of who I used to be. Satan will try to use them to convince me I haven't changed. He wants me to be useless and ineffective. He wants me to hang my head and wallow in the mud of my past. He wants me to feel worthless and alone. Nothing makes him happier than for me to take my eyes off the Father. The devil is deceitful and cunning, but he isn't all-knowing. He may know what I've done in the past, but that's all he can use against me. He only has power over me, if I allow it. He doesn't know the future my Father has planned for me. He doesn't know my heart.

Sometimes, it can be so easy to get bogged down in the ruts of our past. Sometimes we want to hide behind those shadows because we are afraid of who will be pointing their finger at us. Who will ever see us as a witness for Jesus? People just like us. People who have been where we've been. People who know what its like to struggle. People who are not perfect. God can use our past sins to give us compassion for others. My prayer for us all today is that we stop living in denial. I pray that we all remember we are children of the One True Living God. He has a plan for us and he doesn't care what we've done in the past. He loves us, each and everyone, in spite of the mistakes we've made. Don't let your past hold you back from who you are today! Shake off the old shackles of sin and put on the new garment of the light of Jesus Christ. Be who God made you to be. Let His light shine through you. And, when the devil reminds you where you came from, remind him where he's going!

The night is far spent, the day is at hand.

Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness,

and let us put on the armor of light.

-- Romans 13:12 NKJV

Be renewed in the spirit of your mind,

and that you put on the new man

which was created according to God,

in true righteousness and holiness.

-- Ephesians 4:23-24 NKJV

Standing therefore, having girded your waist with truth,

having put on the breastplate of righteousness,

and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to

quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

And take the helmet of salvation,

and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word God.

-- Ephesians 6:14-17 NKJV