My one word for 2011 was Honor. Honor Jesus in all you do. As a matter of fact, yesterday I did a cute little printable to put on my fridge and for my kids to put on their bulletin boards to help us remember To. Always. Honor. Jesus. How quickly that attitude flew out the window.
Let me tell you that I failed miserably. Seriously failed. It was just one of those things that comes out of nowhere and you can't explain why it bugged you so much, but it did...you know? So anyway, my children have chores they have to do...we have the little chore chart and all that business. To make a long story short, there was a certain child who did not do a very good job. He rushed through his tasks, just so he could get back to the Nintendo DSi. Seriously. Okay, I get it. This child is only eight, so some leniency was extended. While trying to finish his chores myself, I asked him to bring something to me, but he first made a detour to the Nintendo DSi. So I lost my cool and yelled about how we are always required to give our best in everything we do because we represent Jesus..uh yeah. I yelled it. Yelled it, people. Yelled about representing Jesus. Anyone see the irony here? Way to honor Jesus, Becky!
So this morning, when my precious child climbed on the couch and laid that sweet head against me, I knew I had to apologize. Yep, I had to eat crow BIG time. I said my actions were wrong and did not honor Jesus in any way. I apologized for yelling like a banshee and scaring the bee-gees out of them. I did go on to say that our best is always required of us, (even when doing menial chores, even when we're in a hurry to do something more fun, and even when we're angry) because we are representatives of Jesus.
Now, here I am, again, on my knees asking forgiveness from my Savior. Not only for my actions yesterday, but because just like my child, I have often rushed through the day without doing what Jesus has asked of me. Thinking that leaving that little spot of envy, bitterness, or unforgiveness in my heart won't be noticed. But, Jesus is even better than mamas at seeing the ugliness left behind by an unclean heart. Oh Lord, that I will always learn the lessons you are teaching and apply them to my life. I pray that I will never be happy with mediocre attempts when my best is required. Help me to honor You in all I do.