Wednesday, October 29, 2008

God is Enough

In case some of you didn't know, our little Chloe Brooke was born on Friday, September 26, 2008 at 12:29 pm. She weighed 6 lbs, 5 oz and was 19 1/4 in long. I may be biased, but she is a beautiful baby girl. We brought her home on the following Sunday. She is doing well and I have recovered nicely and am feeling much better.

We had just started feeling like life was back on track when the Children's Hospital at Birmingham called. Chloe's PKU test showed elevated enzyme levels, which we were told could mean she could have cystic fibrosis (CF). I have to tell you that it knocked the wind out of my sails. The hospital scheduled us for a sweat test on Friday, October 31 at 8 am. It is a simple test in which a gel is put on Chloe's arm or leg, then an electrode will be attached which will deliver small electrical impulses to the area. This will cause her to sweat. The staff will then collect the sweat and send it for testing. We should know the results that afternoon before we leave Birmingham. We have an appointment at 12:30 pm to talk to the doctor. I would like to ask everyone who is reading this to please say a prayer for Chloe. She is an absolute blessing in every way.

I have to tell you that I was very upset the day the hospital called. How could this be happening to our baby? Why? But then, I thought why should it be someone else's child? Somehow through all this turmoil and worry, God has given me peace. I don't know what that means, except that God is here with me, reminding me that He is in control, and whatever the outcome, it will be okay. The Bible says in Psalms 139: 13-16:
For you have formed my inward parts; You have covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

God knew Chloe before she was born. He saw her and loved her before I ever knew she existed. She belongs to Him. I don't know what tomorrow will bring for Chloe. I just know that God knows better than I do. I haven't shared this with many people, but I didn't really want a third child. Chloe was a surprise we hadn't planned on. I thought our family was complete with the two children David and I already had. However, God in His infinite wisdom gave us this wonderful gift we thought we didn't want, and she is a precious treasure we can't imagine living without. He is so much smarter than I am. Our family would not have been complete without Chloe. I am so glad God can see the big picture.

Whether Chloe has CF or not, God has used this time to teach me a few lessons. My hope is that I learn them and retain them in my heart. Praise Him that I don't have to lean into my own understanding, but that He gives me peace. I heard someone say one time, "When God is all you have, You learn that God is enough." I thank God that I'm not alone. He is here with me every step of the way. So, I'm learning to lean into God, learning to trust Him more -- knowing that He is enough. Please pray for God's mercy and grace over Chloe's life and peace for our hearts and minds. Thank you all so much.

Life is hard, but God is so good!

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